Crazy things....

I've had two very busy days (Monday and Tuesday) and i hope it continues like that along the week, the more i do the less i think. I've gone to work, started running again (after being sick), done some extra exercise, my friend came to cut my hair and i also dyed it (that on monday). Today i also went to work (well, everyday thing we have to do in order to have a place to sleep, food, and maybe if you're really good at saving, get some money for a nice holiday away from the snow - in my case.), then i went to my brother in law's mother's place. We talked a lot and decided to have an each one teach one. I teach her my language (she wants to learn it to talk to my mother - how sweet) and i HAVE to learn this damn language... Anyways.. 

Busy days, but i've seen two things that actually got my attention. I'll mention them in order of appearance.

1st - I read in the newspaper that an 11 year old kid killed his stepmother (or the dad's girlfriend) with a gun. I really came to the conclusion that we are animals. The only thing we could use to differ ouselves from other animals is that we are able to think.. hmmmm big mistake, we seem not to use our thinking in a rational way. Every day i believe it's very very very - and let me write another very to the sentence -hard to find good people in the world. I have no idea if the little kid had the intention of doing that or not, but he had his own gun (absurd!!!!). No words for this happening anymore... just   :O

2nd - Oscar 2009. OMG. Seriously, i adore movies and stuff like that.. I even have favourite movie stars, singers, etc.. but hey come on.. how superficial that thing is... 'Thank you' is the most used word in the entire night. AS IF, it was really important for that person to get an Oscar if not only for her/his own ego, what a great difference to the world, huh? Next year they will be all forgotten. How fake and useless that thing is. =( but i must say i enjoy watching it... but it makes me think that people may focus on really wrong things in their lives. I'm not saying that my focus is any better than theirs, but why the heck do you need to be told nice words about ourselves??? Why do you need it? Why do you feel sad, depressed, stupid and you have your self-esteem gone to the ground, just because some person who must be as insecure as you are (but they know how to hide it) control the way you feel?

Why do we care so much what other people think of us? We are all the same, same fears, same buttons to be pressed (sadness, happiness), same concerns.. Some people are really good at hiding these feelings, and then they have to put others down in order to feel better about themselves, because if they are able to make you feel bad.. heyyy, s/he's a winner.. s/he  can feel much better about him/herself now because you are feeling worse than him/her. That is one thing i've noticed. People who put others down, it's because inside themselves, they have such a small self-esteem, that they need to make  you feel so small, that he can be finally superior... 

Horrible! And it's even worse that WE let them do that to us.. how horrifying it is and how weak we can be.

I'm honestly caring less and less about what people say about me, especially in my position where i may be considered "different" from the others. I think each person should take care of his own life and stop "putting their nose" in other people's business.

Life would work so much better like that, but since things dont work in that way, i just try not to care about nasty comments, or behaviours of disapproval.... and why should i? what if i die tomorrow... ???? it'd be such a waste of time....

My goal is to reach 90% of not caring, i believe i'm now in (around) 70%... almost there but still a lot to do...  working in process always!!!

Greetings,

E.